It all started last night when my wife came home with a mysterious box. I got up to investigate as she laid it on the counter with a *thump*.
It was a cardboard box, and inside it, 10 lbs of bacon.
Once I quit giggling, I decided I was going to try my luck at a BACON EXPLOSION!!! Through my typed word, and my illustrative pictures, I'll walk you through this fantastically manly delicacy.
The first step in achieving this meaty delight, is to weave your bacon.
This will be the wrap of your giant meat burrito. You'll want to make it as big as the bacon you've chosen allows you to. Helpful hint: If you use thicker bacon, it's easier to work with, as bacon gets more slimy and stretchy as it gets room temperature.
I sprinkled a little lowrys seasoning on mine.
While I was weaving the bacon lattice, I picked some of the oddball slices out of my big-box-o-pig and let them simmer on low/medium heat on the stove. We'll use these later, just fry them to the point you normally eat bacon at.
Next step is the patty. Most recipes call for Italian sausage, or some kind of pork sausage. I decided to use ground beef from my uncle's farm. Most of the time I work with beef, I use an egg or two to help it stick together. I also diced up a tiny bit of onion and mixed it in with the meat, but made the meat want to fall apart when it came time to roll it.
After the meat got massaged, I put it in a patty the same size, or a little smaller than the lattice. I also seasoned this, lightly.
At this point, you're ready to take your stuffin's from the skillet and spread them over the patty. I also chose to cover mine in bbq sauce.
As you may have noticed, I used a flimsy cutting board for the patty. This, along with the knife, made it easy to roll without breaking it. It also made it easy to set the whole thing on top of the lattice.
As you can see, it's only about 3/4 KABAR long/wide, a very manageable size.
Now it's time to roll the beef tube in the bacon lattice. As you see from the picture above, I set it right in the middle, so that I can pull the sides to the top and weave them together for maximum strength.
Once you've got your work of art assembled, it's time to fire up the grill.
Now when it comes to putting it on the grille, I cheated and used two people. My lovely assistant Sarah slowly flipped the pan upside down while I cradled my meat baby in a sheet of aluminum foil (folded several times for stability).
I waited for the fire to die down and get a nice warm bed of coals, then put the bacon-explosion on the top rack and closed the vents most of the way for a nice slow cook. Helpful hint: You can mold your tin foil in a way that directs the grease (and there WILL be grease) away from the coals, and it won't flare up on you.
Just pulled it off the grill after about 2 hours, and can't wait to tear into it.
Here's what the cross section looks like. Most of the moisture is bbq sauce, not grease.
At this point, some people will say smother it with bbq sauce, but I'm going to eat mine the way it is. Throughout the entire recipe, it's pretty much "season as desired" since bacon and meat are delicious without any help.
I hope you've enjoyed my little story. I'd like to thank Nick Simon for helpful tips and tempting pics. I'd like to thank my wife, Sarah, for randomly showing up with a 10 pound box of bacon. Lastly, I'd like to thank KABAR for being the sharpest knife in my kitchen. It makes my cooking experience feel that much manlier.
I'm going to eat.
Hindsight: I'm not going to season my next one (or only season with cracked pepper), and I'm going to use a sweeter bbq sauce. I can let the people decide what they'd like to put on it as they eat it.
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Marine Ka-bar??
